It’s been ages since I got to type on here.
Hi, hello, I hope you are doing well, whoever you are, because it’s been dusty on LSOT and I doubt anyone ever checks my blog anymore. I’ve been idled for quite some time and I don’t have anyone to blame but myself. Blogging has been the last thing on my mind which is why I’m typing this at 2 in the morning, July 17th, after all the chores have been done and I’m powered by the coffee I had a few hours ago. If it wasn’t for the coffee, my friend, I would have been gone.
In case you didn’t know, I have been a working momma for a month and a half. I kinda feel bad for having to say this, but I love working. Going to work is my definition of me-time away from my children. It’s not that I don’t love them – God I do, of course I do – but they are literally 13 months apart and I kid you not it is tough having two small children similar in age.
Spending all day with them while they are still little and need a lot of attention is hard. If I could split myself into two so that I could care for them at the same time, I would in a heartbeat. One is wreaking the house with toys everywhere, and the other one wants mommy to hold 24/7. By nature I am one who hates seeing stuff on the floor so I always find the need to always tidy up when my son is playing and I feel even more so frustrated when I want to clean but my daughter wants me with her all the time. I am all stressed out. My husband told me many times to just not tidy up, that he’d do it when he comes back from work but I hate seeing the house not tidy to my expectation. It’s driving me crazy.
And don’t even talk about when I’m in the kitchen to cook. My children scream, oh they will scream. Mommy needs to be in front of them at all times. No need to cook. So food delivery is my best friend. When my husband comes home, he’ll cook dinner. That, I am forever grateful to have a husband who cooks. I don’t really like to cook, anyway.
Now, I wake up at 5.30 every morning. Shower, get ready for work, and out through the door around 6.50 am. Send my daughter to my mom first and I arrive work around 7.30 am. My husband will then send my son to my in-laws and him to work. I finish work around 4.30 pm and my husband arrives around 4.50 pm after picking up my son. And then we go and pick up my daughter next. If he feels like cooking then we drive straight home but if not, we’ll buy food outside. By 5.30 pm – 6 pm we are already home. Although I spend the whole day working, I still have the energy to care for my children until their bedtime usually around 9 – 9.30 pm. I am more patient with them which I wasn’t when I was still a stay-at-home mom. I cherish every minute with my kids now, although before I couldn’t wait for their bedtime because I was so tired after the whole day of them crying and making a mess. It affected my mental health. I was on the verge of losing my mind. Literally.
I am doing better now. I don’t stress as much. I look forward to going home to my kids every day. I enjoy being home with my family. I love feeding them dinner and bathing them afterwards. I finally enjoy being a mom and it doesn’t feel like chores anymore. I am thriving. I am breathing. I feel alive. I finally have a purpose in life and it’s not just caring for them. I am doing something for myself too especially when it’s payday and I have $$$ to spend with. Hehehe.
